


Always Right

by nnervv



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Adult Content, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Choking, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:00:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29470575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nnervv/pseuds/nnervv
Summary: Granit Xhaka thought it was strange. So, he thought there was something funny about the new manager.
Relationships: Aaron Ramsey/Mikel Arteta, Granit Xhaka/Mikel Arteta
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Adult Content  
> Sorry, English is not my first language.

Granit Xhaka thought it was strange. So, he thought there was something funny about the new manager.

As for Arsene Wenger, he needs not a long explanation. He was an artist, a professor, an economist and a designer as well. Xhaka chose Arsenal among many offers because of Le Professeur’s name. However, the team was running towards a definite downhill and its acceleration was harshly ignored any desperate attempt to stop. No results, dissatisfaction from fans, the boarders... huge chunks pressed on the manager. Many fans still loved him enthusiastically, but Mr. Wenger knew the time. Shortly after Xhaka wore a red and white shirt, the noble manager waved goodbye to the pitch and fans at the stadium that he made by himself.

About Unai Emery? Unlike everyone else thought, Xhaka didn't hate him, but that didn't mean he respected or loved him. The coach could not live up to fan’s expectations. Like Xhaka, he was an import coach in the first place. However, incompetence gives rise to disquiet. The midfielder was tired by the role isn’t given as a reason, virtually non-existent tactics and his teammates that left without hesitation. Uncontrolled movements look stupid. Maybe he’s the stupidest player on the pitch. The criticism from the fans was excessive. When the coach took away the armband, Xhaka realized what was going on. His coach used him as a shield against all blame. The captain, it’s okay. He’s the player who wasn’t protected from the coach.

"I don't care about being a captain."

"Really? I don't think so when I see your face."

"Really, Musti. Mind your own business, all right?"

The armband was found here and there. One day it belonged to Laurent Koscielny, the next it was owned Granit Xhaka and now it’s on Obameyang’s arm. Obameyang... he’s going to leave here. Then the armband eventually goes to Hector Bellerin who has been longing for it. “I wanna be a skipper like Mikel, perfect, he was a perfect captain...” Bellerin said seriously. The spaniard had retired before Xhaka arrived the club and now he’s working for Pep Guardiola. Xhaka’s never spoken to him, surely. Whenever they played against City, he saw several people rush to the opponent room like lost children. In his eyes, Mikel Arteta is just a handsome man who seemed composed.

We don’t need to talk about Ljungberg.

It's not an accusation. He was just a caretaker coach and didn't have the power to bring together the team that Emery had messed up. So who will replace Emery as Arsenal’s next manager? The news was a hot topic at the moment. The players declined to comment. The replacement is a tremendous impact on the team, but Xhaka had no idea what’s ahead of him around that time. Like other teammates, he was looking for a new team.

“The new manager said he likes you, he is your fan, he wanted to bring you to City, and...” the agent's voice seemed to be fun. “So, do you want to stop going back to Berlin?” He stopped laughing at Xhaka's stinger. “He's trying to stop the winter transfer. Maybe they want to sell you in top form. Arteta is quite different from Emery. I think he's the cold-hearted person.” Xhaka couldn't control his anger. Why are all the managers like this? If they have a good personality, can't succeed as a football manager? Of course every rule has its exception, but after the psychos start to manage, such good managers will lose their posts. 

Mikel Arteta is a young manager who has no experience just becoming. It reminds him of Obameyang's concern, "It is not easy cause he has to get experience at any club.” No one seems to be happy except Bellerin and some staff. Emery had left behind the guilty pleasure which turned into the fear. After he hung up, Xhaka typed the name into Google. Mikel Arteta. A pretty face popped up on his screen.

There is an overflow of articles about Arsenal's new manager.

After the usual greeting, Arteta called some players to the manager's office. Granit Xhaka was the first. The manager finally arrived back home, so he is familiar with Colney ways. When the player looked down, that black hair jumped out at him. Arteta was dressed in a down jacket which made him look smaller.

"Do you want tea or coffee?"

"Coffee, please."

"Yes, there’s some sparkling water, too.”

The interior of the office is plain and simple. There’re fewer personal items than Emery had but it is full of the tactics boards. After pressing a button on the coffee machine, Arteta takes off his down jacket. Down jacket, field jacket, vest... how many layers of clothing are you wearing? He's a slim and small person. When he brought coffee, Xhaka was getting uncomfortable. His new boss has a pretty smile, and he smelled amazingly good.

"So, Granit..."

"I’m leaving. I don’t need your permission, boss.” 

However, he did not change his expression. With a faint smile on his face, he began to drink his coffee. Xhaka had no choice but to hold a cup.

*

The new manager is such a strange person.

The meeting with the manager seems strange even now. The conversation, which started with coffee, ended with a few tears after football, family, transfer, sadness, fans, clubs, World Cup, re-contracts and Emery. Xhaka couldn't believe that he could do this with someone he was talking to for the first time. Mikel is the person I really want to be with, he just thought of a few words of Bellerin. Anyway, before he knew it, he took the hug of Arteta. And he called his agent and brother on the way out. I'll be here, it was ridiculous even when he said it. I'm going to try again with the new manager... Mikel Arteta. The tip of his nose ached, but still smelled good. 

The newly started team has gradually stabilized after some trials and errors. When the meeting was over and started training and tactical analysis, everyone's faces were filled with satisfaction and fighting spirit. It seemed like Xhaka was working for the manager rather than for the team, but the result was good anyway. The team was finally becoming a team. All the players to do their best for the manager and the club.

"Mikel is using magic."

“Don’t beat your gums.”

"Could be like a witch. Everyone loves the boss. When Mikel asked with his eyes, ‘Let's do it again, can you do it for me?’, everyone says, 'I got it.'”

Everyone giggles at Mustafi's words. That way of speaking is typical of him. It’s a break time, Arteta ‘the witch’ is talking to the coaches. He is still slim and small in his long-sleeved down jacket. Xhaka gave him a quick glance. The midfielder loves his frown when he concentrated. 

Everyone thinks Mustafi's words do not lie. Yes, except for ‘the witch’ part. He didn't know before that if someone with a undeniable charm knew it and decided to use it, it would be so strong. He's never experienced this kind of charm. The fans are going crazy for the new manager, in a good way.

"Hey, that’s too much."

The soft touch made Xhaka look away. Bellerin is smiling. The right-back can read other people's faces well. What? When a Swiss player asked him what he was talking about, he frowned this time.

“Be careful. You know- pie in the sky.”

“What are you saying?”

Instead of answering, he laughed again and left. Anyway, there is something funny about the fellow. 

Xhaka withdrew the idea that Mikel Arteta was a psychopath (It was a terrible misunderstanding in the first place. A good person can be a football manager.) but the fact remains that the Spaniard is a strange man. He looked after people as gently as possible, but at the same time he had an inaccessible coldness. Maybe it's because of his rational personality. Xhaka can't even guess what's on his mind. The boss seemed to be frank and honest about everything, but he was very complex and hard to understand. It was kind of veil and probably his strong appeal comes from.

“Stand up!” 

The coaches broke into applause. Arteta smiles. His face was bright and beautiful, but exposed cheeks were slender. Xhaka frowned a little and eyed him from top to toe. His new manager has lost weight. What? The rookie boss with big club? The unusual combination weighed heavily on his mind, probably. Xhaka thought, I would have run away because I couldn't even breathe properly. He knew what that is. Even if this is unfair, experience exists with emotion.

Anyway, the boss looks more beautiful in the sunlight.

*

“No coffee, no black tea, too. If you want coffee, have a herbal tea.” The doctor clicked his tongue. Well, what advice can a sports doctor gives to insomnia? A psychological counselor might be better, but that was a weird thing to say. 

“Should I tell Mikki?” Xhaka shook his head at the doctor’s suggestion and left the room. “It's not that bad. I just didn’t sleep well due to the dreaming...” he said lightly. It'll be a big problem if he talks to that Mikki. By the way, Mikki? He can’t believe it, and started to giggle quietly.

Old Team Doctor Gary really loves the manager. Xhaka wonders how happy he must have been since Arteta became a new manager. Thanks to the boss’s plea, he decided to stay here instead of going to Liverpool. Don't go taking off on us, please, it's not hard to imagine how it happened cause the manager used his charm freely. Anyway, we have many problems to solve. The midfielder can’t believe that even the doctor began to lay his plan for escape. And the manager is trying to fix the club. Everyone, from staff to the fans, is hanging on to him. 

"Granit? Are you Okay?"

"Oh, yes... Well... I just haven't slept well lately.”

"Really? You tired?”

Xhaka was unaware of the passing time. As a result, there is a disaster such as meeting the manager in the corridor. Xhaka was worried if the doctor would tell him, but he confessed after he saw the face. This is a comedy skit. As soon as he meets Arteta's eyes, what he kept in mind flows out like a dam. That’s a strange thing. Well, it's always on record that the players met the doctor, and it's always reported to the manager, so it's better.

"Do you want a cup of tea?"

"Gary told me stop drinking coffee for a while..."

“Oh, really?”

Arteta has a lot of notebooks and iPad. Maybe he'll be immersed in something in the office. The team has no particular victory, but there is no particular defeat. It was the defense that was the first thing to do for the collapsed team, and the attack to grow stronger slowly. He smiles, perhaps he feels the gaze looking down at what's in his hands. He looks tired.

"Herbal tea... that’s okay. Or sparkling water...”

"Yes, I see... I don't have herbal tea, but I'll keep it next time."

Xhaka should have just left, but can't do that. When he looked into of heart, he saw the desire to talk with Arteta and some inexplicable feeling all mixed up. He follows the manager like a big dog, but didn’t feel bad.

The dream. Xhaka was so tired from the training but sleep eluded him. After he kept tossing and turning in bed, finally Granit Xhaka is standing on the pitch. Bench, he turned head to the bench. He expected that Arteta is watching the pitch with his unique cold eyes. However, Unai Emery is there. He's touching his chin with a long face. At that moment, everything is ruined. There are also careless passes, confused players, the booing and the back of the cowardly coach who runs away from the situation. Xhaka finally threw his armband. The audience shouted jeers at him, and he left the pitch, miserably.

"That's why I want you to come down to Musti's side when KT goes up. Isn't that how we can make the space? Then, the player will cover the two of us, so if they get so close to you..."

The fizzy taste of sparkling water stung his tongue and throat. Xhaka suddenly came to himself. With his notebook piled up wide open, the boss turned the pad on and moved the colorful dots on the screen. The development of the technology may have affected the tactics. Arteta is a manager who is too young and probably will make better use of it. But Xhaka is thinking something else in front of that technology. He kept looking at his manager who is concentrating on the movement of the red dots. Mikel Arteta is highly intelligent. It's certainly heartbreaking to see brilliant talent. And interestingly, he knows how to blow the mind.

"Here. Oba moves towards the keeper, then there's a triangle space like this... This is where KT gets in. Or there's another way. You need to build more..."

Though allowed his player to come into the office, the manager seems to be alone in his own world. That doesn't matter. It's good to look at the pretty face of the manager who is immersed. His gaze was downwards, and long eyelashes were rolled up one by one. 

The real Arteta is not much different from the dream Arteta. In his dream, Xhaka helplessly left the pitch and walked through the tunnel, fixing his gaze on Arteta who is walking towards him. He is not wearing Manchester City training clothes, but a familiar black jacket and trousers. While looking at the light outside the tunnel with an expressionless face, he suddenly looked away and smiled. I don't know which one you really are, because it's a dream. If you were a manager, that Emery has disappeared? If this is reality, no, if this is a dream... He came to Xhaka, reached out and caressed his cheek. A very gentle gesture. The player was ecstatic about the touch. He started to get an erection in a dreamy mood.

"Sorry, this is just one of a few options. I've been talking too much."

"You look a little run down."

"Me?"

Silence. He rather asks back with a tired face. He seemed to be a complete workaholic. His life is dominated by devotion. Supporters were beginning to fear the worst, he was willing to take a risk. The fans are in love with him, so do his players. Of course Xhaka, too. But that love and respect can’t explain the terrible reality of the heat between his legs. Everyday. Everyday he is suffering for the dream of his manager.

"...I didn't come back to be happy, Granit."

He would do it. Xhaka knew it. He is not a person who is swayed by emotion to make choices and open his mouth. Thorough rationality and cold considerations of reason explain his choice. He is determined and rough, at the same time friendly and delicate. Mikel Arteta is very strange, very irresistible. If Mikel Arteta wants to, everyone does.

"... I dream of being criticized every day."

"I know."

"No, Mikel. You don't know."

Hey, Granit... I've never been the top player in the league, I've never been selected for the national team, or I've never left a mark on my former teams... I was always one of many options. The coaching job was something I could do well. Arsene, Pep, Pochi, everyone wanted me, not one of the options. This mean, I was the one and only for the first time in my life.

I want to kiss you. You're my one and only as my manager and as someone I admire, but Granit Xhaka can't say that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The natural instinct is to chase prey. But Granit Xhaka knows. If he dares to categorize it, the prey is him. Mikel Arteta can eat him without effort. Just smile when they meet eyes as they do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Adult Content  
> Sorry, English is not my first language.

Xhaka must admit that his eyes always look at the one. The advice that Hector Bellerin gave jokingly failed to avoid the attention of instinct. The natural instinct is to chase prey. But Granit Xhaka knows. If he dares to categorize it, the prey is him. Mikel Arteta can eat him without effort. Just smile when they meet eyes as they do now.

The rondo game was fun. All players tried to look calm and move energetically. There is no vague explanation that ‘the movement is improving!’ The manager speaks in a very precise language. How to lift your leg, how to turn your body.

The weekend match is very important. No matter how low the ranking is, the Big 6 matches always create a wild excitement and a buzz. Arteta lost his expression after some of the players he was supposed to have been selected as starters were dropped due to outrageous injuries. He barely smiled when he made eye contact with the players. It is the manager's responsibility to protect his players, and he has no intention to spread anxiety throughout the team. Everyone knows that.

“Mikel, Mikel? Are you okay, Mikel?”

As soon as he ate lunch, he threw pasta, pieces of meat, and salad down his throat and headed to the manager's office. The space is always open, but few people come in and out calmly. Arteta is clearly not feeling well. It was the changing others wouldn't notice, but without realizing it, Xhaka looks at his manager intently. Arteta always catches his eyes when he is awake or asleep, and Xhaka knew that it is starting to eat away his insides.

His exhausted manager. He looks pale due to jet black hair. He must have calculated a number of ‘what if’ by reducing his sleep time. The player refused Bellerin’s advice. “Let someone else. Don’t go.”

“...Boss.”

He was lying face down on the desk and covered his face with hands. Xhaka closed the door and approached, he did not look up to see. Arteta's team has won back-to-back games, whether thanks to promised pattern play, tactical power or personal talent. Originally, there was no hope, but the winning points on the table, which came closer than usual, held everyone's breath. It was a rather difficult situation. The joy of the fans is in inverse proportion to the pressure of the players and the manager's sense of responsibility. But Arteta doesn't change a single expression. He responds to the media's questions with a relaxed smile, and protected his players' mistakes. However, it is not possible to hide such a heavy feeling. Xhaka know. He knows what that is.

“Mikel?”

Xhaka could hear the sound of his ragged breathing, and his hands looked pale. As he approached in a hurry, he put his hand on Arteta’s shoulder. He can feel the movement of bones through his clothes. Even among professional players, he was small and slim. In many clips, the Swiss may have seen him when he was not an Arsenal manager but a player. Arteta had played a similar role as him. But the body, which is not sure how he has endured the tussle, shakes weakly under his hands.

The danger, deep breath in, inhaled, inhaled, inhaled. Xhaka was shocked by the scene, but he is trying to find something to hold breath. There’s nothing. Nothing but the tactics board, tactics board, board, the damned board.

“Slowly... Breath out, in, out again... Slowly... It’s okay, Mikel...”

Xhaka reached out and covered his nose and mouth. He gasped for breath, his chest heaving. While the Swiss still covered his face and rubbed his back the head tilts back, the brow wrinkles. It’s tenuous. I thought it was useless, but he didn't know that Gary's first aid class would be useful in this way. He can feel the sour taste of gastric juice through clenched teeth. His body reacts in the same way to excessive embarrassment.

“Hey, boss...”

Get it out. Why don't you say it's hard? No one will criticize you even if you say it's hard. Who would dare to criticize you? From the confession of wanting to leave the club to the story of the movie that a player watched with his family, he knew his team from A to Z. Everyone is pouring their heart out to this man as it would be good. You are not the absolute being, just a weak person who can’t get your own breath.

Due to a blurred vision, Arteta leaned back in his chair and did not move. Sometimes he has a twitch. How long have they waited, slowly moving hand is covering the eyes. A deep breath finally comes out between his lips.

“Mikel, I’m here.”

Arteta did not answer. He took a deep breath several times, waved his hand still. Maybe, get out. It is a polite but cold order. But Xhaka also has something to say. You're not a god, you're not a savior. I’m here. I’m here for you, not just a physical thing. Instead of expressing resentment, however, unexpected words burst out.

“May I kiss you?”

Arteta doesn’t seem too surprised by this. But Xhaka knows that if he’s more surprised than anyone else, he doesn’t show it enough. It is Xhaka who can't believe what he said. However, words once spoken which have a clearer definition than anything else. So Granit Xhaka is getting desperate. If you let me kiss you right now, I can do anything. If you want, I would kneel down and beg without a qualm. But his incomplete God answers in a very calm voice, NO.

"Please, please..."

The gesture was firm despite his earnest appeal. Arteta breathed heavily with one hand covering his eyes, and stretched out his arms to the door.

“Ganit Xhaka, I said no.”

A freezing cold voice would have been better, but the sound is so gentle. Xhaka suddenly realized that it is his heart which twitches.

*

That's what the professional world is all about. In any case, you have to train and participate in the competition no matter what. Xhaka thinks about it everyday, why did he say that? But, he wanted to do that. When he saw the person who always seemed undisturbed could not bear the heavy loads, he is in the grip of a strong feeling such as sadness, anger, awe, confusion and love. He just wanted to kiss his manager, at that moment.

The game ended in a draw. The fans and players were in a state of extreme excitement with a dramatic tie before the whistle sounded, but Xhaka read the bitterness in the manager's brief compliments. If you keep up, you'll see it. There is too much to see. He knows Mikel Arteta was holding out, and ultimately he will hold out.

PL’s table is a mess. Each game is mixing the rankings, and the names go up and down on their own. Unlike when we gave up, everyone's spirits are boiling. After all, it is the manager who leads it. He walks on the edge of a cliff on a narrow path. The players can help with it, but can't take its place. Xhaka's gaze continues to follow Arteta. Bellerin looked at him as he was fed up, but Xhaka couldn't stop looking at his boss. If you're conscious or not conscious, other players might have noticed, but he can't stop. It is the same as riding a car at 200 kilometers per hour, and there's no way to get off.

“Boss?”

His ears turned red, but not because of the excitement of the situation. This is because blood received carbon dioxide. When his cheeks flushed, the air is barely flowing through the fingers of his player into his lungs, finally, his body leaned back.

It's a bit of a breaking that's given after half the training. After seeing Arteta's face are slightly contorted as he was talking with the coach who was checking the ipad, he stood up immediately. He can't help but find it was interesting to see himself following his manager like a dog following its owner. However, the little smile has gone and his face hardened. Xhaka can see him covering his mouth as he quickly enters the building. The period of difficulty in breathing becomes shorter. About two weeks, it's only been two weeks.

As soon as Arteta slipped into the restroom near the entrance, Xhaka jumped in and hugged him from behind. Big hands naturally blocked his nose and mouth. He dragged the body, which was already beginning to tremble, and he went into the nearby a stall and locked the door. The body floundering like a fish out of the water. Arteta and fish are alike unable to breathe. The manager moves cautiously, calculated as many ways as possible all the time. Of course, he shouldn’t have blamed himself for something he can’t control, but it must be so hateful to him. Besides, what if it's yourself? What if someone who knows everything is Granit Xhaka? Mikel Arteta will hate every situation more and more, probably. But breathing is not determined by the brain. It is an automatic system. It is in the realm of instinct.

“Mikel...”

The body fits into his arms. As spring passed, Arteta was wearing thinner clothes. He lost weight. While his hands covered the face, wet breath reached the palm of the hand. Mikel, mutters low and puts lips on the neckline. His breath, which touches the manager’s skin, is probably wet. Just as breathing is a reaction, Granit Xhaka reacts to Mikel Arteta instinctively, whether it's the dog who follows its owner, the servant who craves the favor, or the pathetic one who hungered for love.

"Don't..."

"I will... I will do.”

Xhaka kissed him on the neck that appeared. His bones are exposed because of the slightly turned head. The body is not in circulation yet, it can’t be pushed out. In fact, even if this is not the case, if he makes up his mind, Arteta will not be able to get rid of him. He is an active player, a central midfielder who clashed with strengths and skills and he is bigger than the manager of course. But that's nothing. Is there anyone who can beat the beautiful manager? That's why he behaves cowardly. Like catching a fish out of the water, he is aiming at a person who can't move with a weak belly.

Xhaka let go of his hand, which had been covering his mouth, grab Arteta’s head and gently kiss his lips. It was a light contact like a child's, but an inexplicable sense of satisfaction wells up in his heart. The reason why he can't go any further is because of fear. However, he is satisfied with this alone.

Is Arteta afraid that he will tell someone that the young manager is suffering from hyperventilation due to stress? Or does he want more than this? Or...is he worried that he might lose his players? Xhaka doesn't know Arteta's true feelings. After moving his fingertips and seeing the blood flowing, he finally pushed out arm that hugged him. He doesn't blame his player for kissing him every time without permission. The deep eyes, that didn't know, looking at him, opened the door.

“Mikel.”

Granit Xhaka can't stop. Perhaps he pulled Mikel Arteta to a car under the pretext of uncontrollable circumstances. He really can't get off now. If they can't get off, the only thing left is an explosion.

*

"Aaron!"

The players' happy cries can be heard here and there. He is the great guest for the great season. Arsenal ended up in eighth place, but thanks to the winning the FA Cup, embraced the Europa League. Even after the season, there is a week, so of training to wrap-up training. It moves the players’ body so that you don't get weak. The team and its fans, who thought of the young manager as a reliever and expected him to go too far, finally narrowed down the number of successes. The genius in tactics and management! Media hype inflamed the public, but Arteta was calm. Towards the end of the season, Arteta was often unsteady, but the memory of his victory probably provided him with more solid support. It’s just his strange patience added weight. It is funny for a fan to worry that he has lost too much weight, but a fan is always a step behind.

Aaron Ramsey, who transferred to Juventus, knew most of the players. It was the same as Xhaka, and even Arteta. Maybe he is on better terms with Arteta. They were midfielder partners and played together for five years. He greeted the players lightly and immediately looked around. You’re looking for the manager, there is a moment of firm conviction.

"Mikel!"

"Welcome, Aaron. Let's see... Did you gain some weight? Is your ankle okay?"

“It’s just a procedure, not the ankle. Wow, You said that as soon as see me. It's an occupational disease of a manager, Well, Mikel used to be like that."

Disagreements with Emery and the cold treatment of the board left him for Juventus. It must have been a big decision for him to go to a place where people used a completely different language, because he lived only in the UK all his life. Ramsey is always a cool, handsome man with a calm expression. He looked affectionate to everyone, but he was a quiet man who couldn't get close to him. Xhaka watched him and the manager reunite. When Ramsey holds his shoulder with a smile, Arteta holds his hand with a smile. As a player, they share different memories from Xhaka. This is the first time that Ramsey has laughed like that. It's definitely a dog that can see an invisible tail. He’s heard that Arteta helped Ramsey grow a lot.

The memory of Aaron Ramsey was practically very little for Xhaka. He once shouted at Koscielny who succeeded Arteta and Mertesacker as captain. Laurent, are you the captain? Is it a captain to do it like you? Of course, Koscielny was too quiet to look around except for what he had to do. Although Xhaka hasn't experienced Arteta, Koscielny was not as charismatic as Mertesacker. But Xhaka thought Ramsey's accusations were too much because he wasn't such a terrible person. By that time, Xhaka and Bellerin were also the leaders in the locker room. “Aaron's only captain is one Mikel... Perhaps he believed in Per because it was Mikel who made Per his vice captain.” The words come to mind. Damn it, clever Hector.

"They must have been very close."

"Aaron and Mikel? Well, that's true, but..."

Everyone nods to the coaches saying that the manager will probably be late to talk to his ex-colleague after a long absence. The players knew Ramsay except for some transferred players. He returned to his parents' home country after the season. He was allowed to do light training with players for about a week, based on the board’s judgment that they don't have to be cold until the off-season and he still maintains a good relationship with staff members.

Ramsey thanked, but Xhaka doesn't like the situation. He doesn't really know Arteta when he was a player that some youth players even know. The player and captain Mikel Arteta, not the manager Arteta. Ramsey was his midfielder's partner and for some reason didn't like how career-high those days were. Bellerin, who had played together, seemed to be having fun, whether or not the right-back knew his feelings. However, he did not seem to ignore the leaked words.

"It's not that they became friends like a peer because of the age difference. Aaron followed him a lot, and Mikel took care of him. I think Mikel is proud of him. The first player he coached may be Aaron, not Reiss. I feel like... you know.”

“You remind me of Aaron at that time.” He doesn't know what the intention is. What does it mean to think of Aaron? Are we chasing him around like a dog wagging its tail? Does it seem like we’re looking at a mentor we respect? However, Arteta probably won't react to Pep Guardiola in that way. It's fortunate that Bellerin doesn't even know his overwhelming feelings about the manager. As Xhaka plodded toward the cafeteria, he suddenly frowned. If his colleague knew more...

His eyes were deeply shaded as he watched the players carefully. Arteta has well-formed features, and those eyes are the best. That eyes watch closely Aaron Ramsey's movements. He was a veteran already turned 30, but does he still look like a 22-year-old young player to the manager? Arteta approaches and lightly puts his hands on his knees and ankles. Ramsey changes the angle of his ankle with a serious expression. There is a feeling of pity on the manager’s face. That depth is a relationship he can't catch up with. Xhaka feels something hard to explain is blocking his pit of stomach.

"Go ahead. I'm going to meet Gary."

"Didn't he go home?"

“He said it's okay to come back afterwards. See ya, do WhatsApp.”

After loud and noisy voices, Xhaka headed to the doctor's office. He slept well these days, but he had a hunch that he needed a prescription. At the end of the season, he couldn't see the manager for a few weeks, and most importantly, Aaron Ramsey came today. The obvious and instinctive discomfort. If you like your job, you might be crazy, but he likes his job now. Strictly speaking, there was always Mikel Arteta in his sight, who have to look at him.

Gary didn't give him a prescription. He checked out some supplements that can buy it at Tesco, and he even added that jelly is easier to eat. He thinks it's unfair to be treated like a kid, but he has nothing to say about it, as it would be like a child to the old doctor. He doesn’t dare to add that my love sick is terrible, Xhaka quietly stuck a note in his pocket and left the office.

If he is absent-minded, the feet will naturally go to the manager’s office. Even if he doesn't dare to go in, it was the instinct of a wild animal to look around. Arteta spent an hour or two in the office even when the players came home. He sometimes had discussions with coaching staff, consulted with the players, and handled the paperwork. A manager is not just about games. It is a position where he needs to balance between the owner, the board members and the players. But after he finished it, Arteta liked to be alone. It was mainly a time for contemplation. Xhaka's heard that he wake up at dawn and spend time alone. Pour it in, empty it up, fill it up. But now it's different. It isn't that time now.

“Mik...”

It immediately blocks the sound that leaks. The sound of the stream behind the door was obviously impudent. It's a tiny moaning sound that can be suppressed, pounded something, Aaron, Aaron... just a whimper and sniffle. When you're together, when you're in a relationship, that sounds are mixed. His head is colder than the shock. He remembered that every time he kissed his manager cowardly, it was a little bit of resentment rather than hatred that stood in his eyes. Rather than anger at him, anger at a situation that can't control. It was at least a relief that he didn't show any hatred for homosexuality. However, the relief is now rather a cold anger to him. Mikel Arteta does not refuse to have a relationship with a man. He rejects Granit Xhaka. He sleeps with Aaron Ramsey, which is also in the manager's office. In the office, how dare.

“Aa, ahh... Plea... Aaron. A-” He managed to gasp out the name. Ahhron or Aaron. His breath coming in short gasp for a few moments, and there’s nothing left. Silence. Xhaka thought it was weird, so he stopped his backward legs. Although he thought that it’s like a Peeping Tom, he leaned head against the door. The gasping of breath out, puff and pant, puff and pant. And something has eaten into the little scream again. Xhaka realized that it was the same sound Arteta made when he couldn't breathe, he grabbed the manager’s neck. The field of vision is white. Granit Xhaka became aware of what meant to be white and cloudy before his eyes, and that it was not just a metaphor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as I know, Mikel is such a positive and composed person. So I was surprised when he confessed that he couldn't sleep because of a stress headache.  
> I still love their relationship. Thanks for reading, Kudos and the comments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even between Ibiza's hot sunshine and waves of the sea, Granit Xhaka thought of his manager long and hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Adult Content

Even between Ibiza's hot sunshine and waves of the sea, Granit Xhaka thought of his manager long and hard.

His weak and small manager, but in fact Arteta is a strong and solid person. Mikel Arteta is always kind and warm, but surprisingly cold. My manager, the savior who landed on us, and he sometimes couldn't breathe and slept with his young companion. All of these mixes make Granit Xhaka gruesome. His beautiful and devilish manager.

The night before a holiday, the players threw a party together at the invitation of the manager. Even when he was not a captain, he invited the players to his house. They were one by one captured by Mikel Arteta. It was Aaron Ramsey, who walked in despite knowing it and didn't get out on the way. He needed somebody, he needed somebody to give him emotional support. He had been in tatters due to his loan life, bad relations with the captain and serious injuries. For Ramsey, the new player from Everton was something like a gift from heaven.

He became involved in a special relationship after Arteta was appointed as the vice captain in a year. “Thomas had no idea, no voice... Everyone was clinging to Mikel. Arsene was smart, and he knew that if he lost him, he would lose the whole player. What do you think, Granit? Did Mikel choose you?”

“No, no... “ Xhaka shook his head while drunk. After a few glasses of wine, Arteta was getting a little tipsy. He can see his manager laughing with a slightly red face. His emotional appearance, which has stopped calculating, is madly lovely. It seemed that Bellerin isn't the only one who noticed Xhaka chasing him as if he were insane. Ramsey, who was sitting next to him and recommending wine, watched Arteta laughing and making a fuss with the young players. He still looks like a player rather than a manager. Suddenly, Xhaka is asked a question that he couldn't stand. “Aaron, are you Mikel's significant other? Well, um... you two sleep together.” It was an awkward question, but he just laughed. Maybe it's because of alcohol.

Arsenal’s shaky start, pressure, duties and responsibilities as soon as he was transferred. At that time he was also a younger player. It was the his first big club to be transferred. The young and inexperienced players, the breakaway of captain and ace... It was all a burden that he had to carry all of a sudden. It was Aaron Ramsay, who found him crouched down after not being able to breathe in the locker room. Just like Granit Xhaka, he held Arteta's breath. After that, he did so often. Ramsey kissed him, and finally made his legs open. He knew at once that Tim Cahill had taken on that role. He wanted to be special, so he demanded it. Arteta gave himself to him with inscrutable face.

“I’m not big enough for him, never been. Well, that’s called being... friends with benefits. I prayed more than anyone else that we would be lovers, but it didn’t happen to me.”

“I know what it means.”

“Well... If he wanted to, I wanted to quit as a football player and run away with him. But Mikel is crazy about football. Look, he went on to become the manager. He’s still so young and...”

“It's beautiful even when he’s older.”

“I think he'll be beautiful until he die. Do you know that, Granit? Sleeping with Mikel is...”

At a secluded outdoor parking lot behind the stadium, they had sex for the first time in the car. Ramsey was at a loss what to do. He never had a relationship with a man before, so Arteta gently taught him the steps one by one. After pushing the wet finger into the crack, he bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling. The fingers slid in and out, and rubbed the spot. And finally the younger player buried himself deep inside. After a poor insertion, he just shuddered. It was all about making small moans once in a while. Under Ramsey, he hardly moved throughout the sex. 

The climax came somehow or other. Ramsey came with a low groan, pulled out his body, cleaned up the stain, went into depression. It was almost an automatic reaction. Meanwhile, Arteta was still lying on the seat and his eyes blinking slowly. Ramsey clung on, and then he caressed his body. The face, neck, chest, thighs, all of the body. But when he grabbed the shaft, the Spaniard was curled up. Arteta led him so gently, but Ramsey was nearly driven mad the fact that he wasn't excited. He almost forgot that he finally slept with Arteta, but he soon realized that the Spaniard began to breathe hard. The action itself was putting a lot of pressure on him. “Relax, relax and breathe deeply... Yes, I know, I know what you want...” Aaron Ramsay gripped his neck instead of covering his mouth with trembling hands.

“I know. Don't look at me like that.”

“You’re off your nut.”

“You didn't sleep with Mikel, so you don't know.”

“It’s better to hold my tongue. I was drunk.” Ramsey turned to look at Arteta over there again. The young players gazed in awe at their manager. Yes, some experiences are hard to forget.

After that, the relationship lasted for more than four years. In the meantime, Arteta finally announced his retirement and became a coach for Manchester City. Is it okay because that position has less burdensome? Or is someone holding his breath in City? Ramsey wondered. When he thought about it, he felt suffocated. But when the Welsh hugged him in the empty locker room, or visited Manchester to beg for love, he was only too happy to have him. Kindness in coldness, compassion in rationality... just as all of this coexists in Arteta, there was a sense of security in the guilt.

“I... I couldn't stop it. I still wait for me to be thrown away. I'm scared, but I have no choice.”

“That sounds completely crazy to me.”

The Welsh laughs at Xhaka's angry voice. Ramsey is only two years older than him, but seemed to be more mature. Is this because of Arteta? He swallowed the glass at a gulp, and patted Xhaka on the shoulder. “You're falling in love. Just as I did. Loving Mikel Arteta is scary, but it has to happen... And maybe you'll be happy. He’s Mikel.”

“You remind me of Aaron at that time.” Bellerin’s words just came into his head. Xhaka was confused by what he heard and alcohol. Aaron Ramsey used to choke Ateta on the pretext of helping him, and his beautiful manager groaned and willingly accepted it. That relationship, which has lasted for four, maybe five years or more, is ridiculous. 

The man watches everything carefully, but he chooses his own adventure. He is thrown away in an uncontrollable situation and surrenders himself to pleasure. It's the only game he can afford, and he'll spend the rest of his life patient and dedicated. Don't do that. It really doesn't make sense. But Aaron Ramsay said bitterly, you don’t know, you, don’t, know. At that moment, the thought flashed across Granit Xhaka’s mind. The firm hands are slowly tightening his neck. Arteta tilted his head back and opened mouth to breathe. The twitching body, the climax, all of this slowly comes to the player’s mind.

“Mikel, you're a little tipsy. I’ll take you home... get a taxi?”

“Yeah, I should go... Don't drink a lot, take care. Enjoy your holiday!”

When Ramsey spoke to the manager, the young players’ excitement quieted down and Arteta tapped his players on the back. He looked relaxed as the Welsh hugged his shoulder in one arm. Xhaka thought those two won't go home. Whether they're in a hotel or anywhere, at least in the back of the car, they will make love. Aaron Ramsey got used to everything about Mikel Arteta. As he devours him reverently, he would finally put his hands on the neck without hesitation. And at the boundary between life and death, Mikel Arteta will moan. 

“if I had known that mikel would come back, I wouldn’t have gone. It's too easy to lose. I knew someone would find Mikel when he came back.” 

The sound of Ibiza's sea could not erase Aaron Ramsey's voice. His words were ringing Granit Xhaka’s ear. 

*

Colney’s sun is hot after the holiday. The weather like this is rare for in the UK. All players were tanned, and so was Xhaka. Some players are not here, and other new faces here. That's what soccer is all about, so they've been looking forward to the new season as they are greeting each other happily and warming up. No one knows if it will be a happy or unhappy season, but it was fun to wait anyway.

"All of you need to run hard. You gained a lot of weight."

The manager shows up with a smiling face. After some checks with the coaching staff, he finally waved to the players. He was also a little tanned, but he looked much better. Xhaka has already read the article that except for a few days off, the manager has returned early to the team and started preparing for the new season. Arteta checked the condition of the players through video call, and responded pleasantly to the greeting of the players who were excited to see their manager after a long time. 

Xhaka didn't say much. There are so many questions that it doesn't explode. Arteta on the screen answered with a tilt of his head. The player can only look inside the screen because the manager’s face is more stable than the season, and he is unrealistically beautiful. Mikel Arteta talks and Mikel Arteta laughs. The world of Granit Xhaka spins around.

The training for the first call-up is not difficult. The players do some running and stretching to warm up, they were given a briefing on how to plan the season and fit into the timetable. Arteta reads players' attitudes without prejudice. Some players get a chance and others don't. We all know that it is not due to emotion. So the players trust the manager and do their best to show themselves. That was the best thing since Arteta became the manager happened to them.

As usual on such the first day, the gym was crowded. After muscle training was done as instructed by the fitness coach and the players scattered around their homes and massage rooms, Xhaka remained enthusiastic about the running. What he wants passionately is a devoted football man, and his standard of judgment is exclusively a form. He felt that if he was a rusty, it would be the end of it. “Granit, what a motivation!” He replied with a grin, even though there was a joke from the coach.

When Xhaka took a shower and changed clothes, the entire Colney Center was quiet. Most of them seemed to go home early for training that will start in earnest tomorrow. Although the data analysis team would still be around, but they were always locked up in their office and busy looking at the monitors. He wondered if Arteta is still having a meeting with the staff members, and he walked to the manager's office. The player heard about his love affair with Aaron Ramsey, but it was a different matter to explore the territory. Aaron Ramsey, I don’t care. To tell the truth, the Welsh man is screwing with his head. But he's not here, not even a boyfriend or a lover. It's worth a shot.

"Coffee? But no sugar"

“No problem.”

Arteta is alone. And he greeted Xhaka, who knocked on the door as if he really didn't care. He pushed the buttons on the coffee machine and took out the mug. Still slim, but he looks much better than the one that caused fans to worry about being too thin. The same was true of just tanned skin. The long eyelashes cast a shadow on his cheeks. Damn it. It is sexy. It's too hot. The analysis sheet piled up on the desk is probably the new 19 team material. The team that was promoted, the team that remained, the team that won the league and perhaps even teams from other leagues that will play in the Europa League.

"... Is it because you’re curious about Aaron and me?"

Mikel Arteta knows everything, and there's nothing he can't get. He said the only way to hide his imperfection was to get a coaching job, but he is actually a person who can get everything. Besides, he is direct guy and didn't hold back anything. So Xhaka lost his words. He thinks that attitude is amazing now. His manager is not afraid of such a thing. His kiss and Ramsey’s desperate courage are just possibilities to him.

“What do you know so far?”

"Probably... Everything.”

“Yes...” After muttering, he drinks his cup of tea. It's similar to when they had a conversation after his first appointment as a manager. If he wants to, he can naturally elicit other subject, but Arteta does not seem to want to.

"Why do you let him do that?"

"What?"

"That's outrageous. It's not just... I don't think it’s just a sex."

When he realized it, his eyes are looking at the manager’s neck. Every time his neck moves, his bones bounce up and sink under the skin. He seemed to be looking for a suitable word. Then, his lips smiled.

“Well, it's not that simple.”

You know, Granit. I've always decided everything on my own since I started playing football when I was young and went to Barcelona. There were times when it worked and times when it wasn't, but I don't like to be pushed or improvised. Of course hyperventilation was something I didn't expect, and I can’t reduce that symptom by taking medicine. But... contrary to popular belief, it wasn't that harmful to me. The pressure to participate in a game and handle work is fine. In fact, it is not that much stress to take on the captain or the manager. The competition? I really love it, too. It's just... my brain judges a sudden situation as not good. Unthinkable or uncontrolled scenarios, things you have to rely on your instincts, not your brain.

That's the funny thing. My brain calculates everything and acts instinctively at the same time. Breathing is the realm of instinct. You know what an another instinctive area is like breathing? It's sex. Well... I haven't really enjoyed instinctive things, anything close to the beasts.

It's ice-cold words. The instinctive things, sex, anything close to the beasts. But he moaned under Aaron Ramsey's hand. Mikel Arteta is straightforward. He tells everything surprisingly honestly. Except he sleeps with Aaron Ramsey. Except that he knows how Granit Xhaka feels. After finishing his mug of coffee, he rose to his feet. Every time he moves, his scapula appears on a thin shirt. The player gulped by the sight.

"If you can't breathe, it means you want to live instinctively... It's fun. At first, Aaron strangled my neck to let me breathe, then we found out. When someone strangles my neck and flutter my legs, I feel the vitality. I didn't know before I went to bed with Aaron. I don't know me either. I've never thought about this. I've never thought about this before. I think it's creepy.”

I had never taught it to Aaron. But he is more instinctive than I am. Maybe he just knew it. This whole thing is creepy and disgusting, isn't it?

“On instinct, human is just an animal. What happens is what happens. You must stop thinking too much. Would you please just, just sleep with me?”

"No."

"Please, try it with me. You need a substitute. I'll follow your calculations, Mikel..."

Even on the pitch, I will do as you say. No one can deny that it brought out maximum efficiency. And even off the pitch, I'll do as you say. Do as you please. Just as Mikel Arteta wishes.

Arteta doesn’t answer. He was still standing with his back shown. Xhaka approached and hugged him. It smells good when he lower his head a little. The manager is staring at the window, trapped in his arms. Xhaka doesn’t know what he is thinking. Humans are part of animals, and instincts exist in everyone. Arteta hates it, but tries it, after deep contemplation. Is this also part of the scale that he is contemplating countless times? He thinks too much, but the player doesn’t care. Mikel Arteta is the man ruled by cold reason, and Granit Xhaka burn with only instincts, now. All the flames burn without being extinguished.

While Xhaka buried his face in his neck around, Arteta doesn’t refuse to pull up his shirt. The player’s fingers caressed his chest and nipple. He clenched the butt through trousers. The sense of presence in hands makes him dizzy. His manager just being there can drive him so crazy.

"You don’t know, you don’t know how much... how much I...”

Arteta showed no reaction to the sound of his breathing. Xhaka took his shoulder and swung him round to face him. That eye, that hazel-green eyes stared at him. Arteta’s expression was the same when Xhaka pulled his arm to set him down on the sofa, when he found a massage gel and condom in his bag, and when he took off the clothes. He licked his nipples with his head down like mad. At that moment, the manager’s hand gently stroked his hair. Granit Xhaka feels like he’s going to cry. Mikel Arteta is a caring person. Actually, he is a very caring person.

Xhaka took off his trousers and underwear, and buried his face between the legs. Arteta wriggles at the direct stimulus. He gripped the shaft, sucking the head while moving his tongue. The Spaniard’s breath gets a little rough, but he seems not to get intense excitement. He swallowed what was in his mouth and squeezed the gel on the hand. Grabbing his ankle and lifting the leg, he sees a slightly frowned face.

"Ahhs..." He heard a muffled moan because of the hand covering the face. Two fingers push inward at a time and slide back and forth. Xhaka hooks his wet fingers, stirs the insides, and the manager shivered. “Hurt? It’s okay...” Pain, it’s okay. It's part of the survival instinct. Xhaka feels a little relieved. He has already an erection just by caressing the manager who didn't respond very well. When the tight entrance became soft, he pulled out his fingers and picked up a condom. But his hands continued to tremble. “Yes, Granit. it’s okay...” Arteta's hand stroked his arm softly. “It's okay, Granit.” It's a calm voice.

In a series of processes to push the horn into the slot, add thrust forward, pulled out the body after coming, Arteta looks vacantly in the air. He gave a tired sigh. The only one who wriggles like a beast is Granit Xhaka that held him back. When Xhaka put his manager’s foot down, he lay still and reached for a tissue. It is short breathing, but not hyperventilation. They took a rest for a while. He see that there are red marks on Arteta’s chest. Traces left by Granit Xhaka.

“What should I do? What should I do?”

Xhaka wanted to cry. He really wanted to cry. He's never wanted to cry this much when he failed in the World Cup or just before he left the team after argued with the fans. Arteta doesn’t answer an earnest question. He must be thinking about it. He’s thinking about it again. His brain is working to find the most reasonable and correct answer. The brain that can't respond to the uncontrolled situation, the brain that instinctively thinks of itself when it blocks oxygen, blocks carbon dioxide, or is thrown at the boundary of death. That's how his brain confirms that it's alive. His brain is struggling to make sure he’s alive.

"I'm sorry."

His voice trembles a little. This painful feeling is what he really means. Therefore, it is even sadder. He felt sorry for his manager. With his body trembling intermittently from the shock of insertion, he gathers his clothes. Arteta walks carefully and opens the window. A night breeze stroking Colney runs through the office. However, his ecstatic profile looks out like a picture. Only then does Granit Xhaka realize the meaning of Aaron Ramsey's words. It is scary to love Mikel Arteta. However, it is inevitable that this will happen, and he will have to continue with this feeling.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Granit Xhaka need Mikel Arteta, as the subject of all his emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Adult Content  
> Sorry, English is not my first language.

"It hurts, hu, hurt, Granit..." Arteta muttered, but Xhaka isn’t stopping. It's a good thing that it hurts. You must admit that sometimes there are things don't go the way you want, please... Xhaka felt like his chest is full of pain. But his hands that pressed the manager’s back. As soon as the first Europa League match ended in victory, the final whistle went off and the post-match interview ended, he brought his manager to the restroom. Arteta’s breathing hard as he thought. After covering his mouth, Xhaka pressing the manager’s twitching body against the wall and kisses on his back. He feels the slow breathing wets his fingers, and he pulled down the Spaniard’s trouser. Arteta has great taste in fashion and perhaps it is also planned. Arsenal's star is the manager. The telly focuses the camera on the beautiful subject.

"Ugh, Ah..." And the beautiful subject is now stuck under his own player's control. The groans that flow out are not pleasure, but pain. He may not get used to the feeling of opening his body without applying almost properly. While moving his shaft several times, Xhaka’s movement became a little easier, perhaps because of the blood. The back of the neck turned pale with pain. However, Arteta does not refuse. This is also a lifeline even for him. 

While Xhaka is holding and shaking his cock, Arteta kept mouth closed, saying nothing. High-pitched breathing sounds like whistles flow out along the narrowed airways. When Xhaka's hand blocked his mouth, his breathing regains its stability. It's strange. The sex, the breathing, and the pain. The things getting mixed up in Mikel Arteta's consciousness. After cleaning up the little sticky fluids with a wet tissue and a sports towel, push a bundle of tissues through the swollen hole. It was miserable and funny, but his hands were used to it. Xhaka always had a gel in his bag just in case, but he rarely used it enough. There was a small sound of pain, but his breathing certainly calmed down. All of a sudden, everything becomes sad. He's trying to hurt Arteta, to make his manager feel alive. He doesn't want it. He wants to cherish his manager.

"May I kiss you?"

"…Granit."

"Please..."

Xhaka learned that Arteta is soft-hearted at the appeal he could make. He stroked the Spaniard’s cheek and kissed him lightly before he heard the answer. The player’s tongue slips inside and it licks gently throughout his mouth. While biting and sucking open lips, the chin gets wet, and trembles are delivered.

"That’s just pie in the..."

"Shut up, please."

Everyone quickly got home, and in the lounge there was only one Bellerin. He's on SNS.

The reason why he stays is probably because he wants to tease his lovesick teammate. Fortunately, no other players besides Bellerin seem to have realized anything. Or they pretend not to notice. Anyway, they don't want to know that their teammate and the boss are having a subtle relationship.

"Aaron will hate..."

"Who cares? He’s in Italy."

Xhaka cut off the sentence and took a hoodie. He’s suddenly hungry. He walked into the office with a slight limp that could only be seen when looked at carefully. His brain is probably clear with a mixture of repentance, disgust, and some sadness. All that's left now is the rationality and Granit Xhaka has no effect on him. But Xhaka is dying if he doesn't stick to his manager. It reminds him of Aaron Ramsey, who was on the verge of going crazy. The Welsh man could give up football because he wanted to be Arteta’s lover. But poor Ramsey is in Italy, now. Of course, Granit Xhaka feels sorry for himself enough, but he does his best to serve the manager anyway. Mikel Arteta, the devilish beauty.

"…But I will."

"What?"

"You don't know, damn... I'm the most pitiful and the luckiest one right now, so shut up. Please."

What choice would Granit Xhaka make if he could reclaim time knowing all this situation? 

I abandon Mikel Arteta that control freak and go see a woman. Go further back. I avoid Aaron Ramsey, when he comes around and sits next to me. Go further back. I wouldn't even think of dipping a man's hole. Go further back. I keep him at a distance. Mikel Arteta is the boss, and I just work with him. Go further back. I move to Berlin before Mikel Arteta reaches out to me. Then, in Germany, I kick the ball happily and stare at Arsenal's downfall... A young and beautiful former captain has arrived as the new manager! The kids will be happy! Go further more...no. The new manager calls me to meet him. He makes coffee and laughs at my words of transferring. A dizzying, ecstatic, and fragile smile.

Again. I’m stuck in the mud. I’m stirring the hole and covering his mouth. At the end of all the action, I get the horn by the kiss given to me.

God damn it.

-

Arsenal returned to the Champions League after a long time. The draw is broadcast with the excitement of WhatsApp. The draw place is Basel, Granit Xhaka’s hometown. He looked at the screen in amazement. From Arsenal, Edu and Vinai participated. In retrospect Switzerland is rather unfamiliar, now. He spent a lot of time in Germany, and he will probably devote the rest of his heyday to this team in London, England. Strictly speaking, he has loyalty to Mikel Arteta.

Mikel Arteta has taken an exceptional step as a manager. As soon as he retired, the world's best managers courted him. He would have chosen Guardiola carefully, and Arsenal eventually got him. He won the title as the youngest manager because of his brain. If the physical condition had supported him more, he would probably have been the best in his playing career. And that brain finally puts Arsenal in the Champions League, and put Granit Xhaka into the abyss.

"I think... Juventus, or Atleti."

"Why?"

"It's easy. The leagues should not overlap and the sportlight should be considered."

"You seem to believe in fixing the draw."

"A little bit.” Arteta laughs. Embracing a cushion piled up on the sofa, he pushes out carelessly Xhaka's head clinging to his neck. The interior of his house is quite simple, but Arteta’s is probably more simple. There are no other furnishing in the office except for some photo. He is wondering if he could ever step into the manager’s house, but it doesn't matter. He can make Arteta come. He is also wondering if the boss would throw a party at home if they won the league. Bellerin said he often held things like Christmas dinners. Damn. They have another reason to win the league.

Arteta's prediction was exactly right. The delegate unfolded the rolled-up memo, and they saw the clear word 'Juventus' on the screen. It might have been a crucial match before, but probably current Arsenal is an easy target. Edu's expression on the screen is not very good. WhatsApp is ringing like mad. 

He turned off his phone and licked his boss on the neck slowly. Arteta’s hand pushes out his head again without hesitation. Xhaka Grabbed the wrist and buried his face deeper in the manager’s neck. He bit the skin that appears under a loose knit sweater, and drew a deep breath. He wants to bite down and swallow. My manager doesn't like sex with me... he gave the matter a lot of thought. It’s not as hard as he thought. The opposite of destruction is reason. When Mikel Arteta does a brain work, Granit Xhaka break it. They are in opposing camps. But that's the supporting relationship.

Xhaka can see the bones of the spine through tighten muscles of the back that are jerky. When you retire and get older, you usually gain weight. This is especially true for athletes with incredible activities. Arteta remains the same as when he was a player. No, technically speaking, he’s lost his muscles and weight. That stress and sensitivity do not give him a chance to gain weight. And Granit Xhaka, who plays a part in Arteta’s stress and sensitivity, buries his face in the neck. He is fascinated by the movement, such as seeing it every time when he is pushing his body in as deep as it would go.

"Mikel..." With his face buried in a cushion, he 'tolerates' the situation. Xhaka slowly pushing his stem in and pulling it back. The hole keeps on squeezing, the player moaned and came. But he suddenly remembered it. What is the manager thinking now? Is this a complementary relationship or... After all, is it just rape? Even if they don't have a relationship again, there's nothing he can really do. The only thing Granit Xhaka can possibly do is kneel down in front of him and beg. But Arteta has always been reluctant to screw, and it does not hide. Xhaka kisses gently his neck, back and everywhere. And he has his fingers between the manager’s legs. He started to tease at tender flesh. But he gesture of instinctively trying to avoid it leaves a scar in the player’s mind.

"Umm...yes..." Arteta breathe out long breaths, but his breathing became quickened. Xhaka quickly took his shaft out, turn over Arteta’s body. His body trembles lightly. The player carefully put his hands around the manager’s mouth while keeping together of their naked bodies. However, it’s okay. Arteta breathed in several times, after laughs softly. He’s blinded by that little thing. Then, Granit Xhaka whispers many times, holding his manager’s exhaled breath. We can win, we can win, we can run and win, even if I get a leg broke. And then he confronts again the deep questions that he never raises. The act of having sex may take his breath away, per se. However, they can’t stop. All actions are important in themselves. Eating, sleeping, everything instinct does. And there is a more important reason for the fact. Granit Xhaka need Mikel Arteta, as the subject of all his emotions.

-

"If Mikel had come to see me, I might have dropped the ball. A young manager of the other team with outstanding beauty.."

"Isn't it a dirty talk?"

"I see. It doesn't mean much. At least maybe I did... keep thinking about Mikel."

The result of the away match against Juventus was the most terrible. 3-1. It was fortunate that they made up at least one goal. The players are more angry than frustrated. Aaron Ramsey, who came to greet them, is also not welcome here. Xhaka caught him as he was about to leave after a brief greeting. Ramsey grinned, realizing that Xhaka trying to talk had nothing to do with football.

Until they talk after the manager's post match conference, the team can't go back to the hotel. The captain Aubameyang can be heard encouraging the players. The corridor was rather full of voices and no one showed interest in Granit Xhaka and Aaron Ramsey talking to each other. However, they don't say words out loud. Like a light hearted joke, Xhaka noticed that Ramsey was trying to dodge the subject. He’s in a bad mood. After all, Aaron Ramsey is an ex-sexual partner with his manager. 

"I sleep with him." Ramsey's eyebrows were raised by the direct words. It is his unique face when he doesn't like it. This is Torino. Juventus’s players go home freely. Aaron Ramsey must be the same. Granit Xhaka’ll wait for the manager and take the bus to the hotel together. That is all the difference now. After all, it’s him who's next to Mikel Arteta, and it's a shabby but obvious victory.

"...That's not important. That's... Granit, Mikel is..."

"It's important. And we're going back to London together. I'm not going to move like you before he throws me away. He’s really kind. I know. He’s cold. Yes, I know, I know. But he always patient and always strong. That's why I feel sorry for him. I don’t leave him alone. I'm afraid that he won’t be able to bear it someday."

"…Granit, it's wrong."

Wrong? What's wrong? There is nothing wrong. Granit Xhaka is going back to London with Mikel Arteta. He’s the one who protects his manager, and He’s with his manager when he can’t breathe, and He’s the one who leaves the imprint of the fact in that brain: You are also just as instinctively alive as anyone else. Ramsey is staring at Xhaka's face. He looks stunned.

"... It's love. You too." But Ramsey immediately laughed. The relaxed smile characteristic of those who spent years with Arteta. He opened his mouth to say something, but he took a deep breath instead. It's still bustling in the locker room, and they can see Arteta is walking from the end of the corridor. Do you think Arsenal will make it through the Champions League group stage? What did you think about facing your former mate Aaron Ramsey? What do you need to say about the players who made critical mistakes in today's defeat... It seems that the questions are still sticking to his shoulders.

"Mikel..." As Ramsey approaches him, the Welsh man whispers while holding Arteta’s hips and shoulders naturally. Arteta is listening quietly with his head slightly tilted, after he smiles. He knew there was no word to follow him, but Granit Xhaka can't move. He stood nailed to the spot. He looks at the two of them sharing a time that he doesn't know. And Arteta's thin lips bend lightly. No.

"Mikel... Not as a player, you know that, Mikel."

"Not as a player, I know that, No."

It’s irresistible. Arteta walks out naturally even though he doesn't shake off his arms. The standards have become more firm since he became a manager.

"Go in, Granit." His manager stops and urges. Xhaka is quietly obedient. He’s not sure what kind of expression Aaron Ramsey had. After seeing the manager, the locker room becomes noisy again. The sound of the locker room, which is making a fuss with discontent and anger, is hitting his ears. Arteta talks about something and Xhaka can’t hear anything. Only the Arteta’s flat refusal word could make his brain tremble. No, Aaron. No.

**Author's Note:**

> I love their relationship after Mikel's appointment, but I can't banish the lingering affection for Aaron.


End file.
